Only Ever You (A Little Like Destiny Book 2) by Lisa Suzanne

Author:Lisa Suzanne [Suzanne, Lisa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-09-27T16:00:00+00:00

fourteen

“Hey,” I answer softly, ignoring the spears of pain jabbing into my chest as I wander away to a quiet corner of the bar. I pace back and forth before I realize I’m right in front of the door. Someone opens it into my back and walks through it with a muttered apology. It was my fault. It was stupid to stand in front of a door. I’m not paying attention to my surroundings because I’m trying to focus on keeping my heart from beating out of my chest as I take a phone call I don’t want to take right now.

“Hey.”

“How’s Germany?”

“Lonely without you. Remind me when you’re getting here again?”

Here it is. My opening. My chance to tell him I decided I’m not coming.

Someone starts playing with the sound system, checking to see if the microphones are working. The voice blares loudly behind me and I jump, startled. “Test one. Test two. Test one. One. One.” The mics definitely have sound.

“Where are you?” he asks.

A flash of fear tightens my chest. “At a bar.”

“With who?”

I clear my throat. “A friend. Can I call you back?”

“I’m heading to bed.”

“What are you doing up so late?”

“Jet lag, I guess. I went out for a bit. I miss you.”

This is where I say I miss you, too. But I’m already holding enough truths back from him. I can’t outright lie to him with his voice in my ear.

I’m tempted to ask where he went and who he went with. Where’s out? What does that mean?

I remind myself that I just traveled to Los Angeles on Mark’s private jet with every intention of spending the next couple days by Mark’s side. I have no right to ask him any of those questions.

The severity of what I’m doing slams into me with the force of a freight train. I’m giving into whims because of some fantasy. I think back to the morning I met Brian when I was stepping off the elevator leaving Mark’s place. I remember thinking I needed to write my own rule book because I didn’t know how to walk out of a one-night stand with a rock star.

I can’t even fathom how far off course I’ve traveled since that morning.

I need a new rule book: How to Live with Yourself when You’re Doing Everything Wrong.

“I, uh...” I trail off. I can’t force myself to say something I don’t mean. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to come to Germany.” I blurt it out because if I don’t, I’ll lose my nerve.

“What? Why not?”

“It’s just...” What? It’s just what? It’s just that I’m not coming to Germany because I want a week alone with Mark more than I want to fly to Germany to see you. It’s just that I’m in love with your brother. It’s just that I love you, too, but it’s not enough. I love him more. It’s just that I’m an awful person and you deserve better than I can give you.

The truth should be told in person.

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